Checkup

On Friday morning I went to the hospital (SJMC) for my first serious checkup since my gastric was getting worse than ever. Thing was, I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.

I’ve been wanting to go for a checkup for a while now. All the doctors I’ve seen at nearby clinics have told me the same thing. 1. I have gastric, and 2. I should avoid carbonated drinks. That morning I wasn’t expecting anything different, I just wanted to know how bad my tummy had gotten.

I arrived at the hospital precisely at 10a.m. I thought I was early, but it turned up that there were already 4 patients waiting to see the same doctor I was assigned to, friggin earlybirds. I had to wait for about an hour and a half till it was my turn. Went into the room, and the doctor did his thing. Asked me questions regarding my pain. He was rushing me like mad though. Wasn’t expecting the doctor to act like a politician; rude and hasty.

After the brief interview he couldn’t tell exactly what my problem was. I kept quiet and listened with a straight face, until he said;

“So it looks we have to look inside your stomach. We’re gonna put a tube with a camera inside your stomach to get the results.”

It shooked me, I shuddered a little. The first thing that was going through my mind was “Through my ass?!”

The question lingered in my head for a while. The nurse gave me an agreement letter to get me and my mother’s permission to carry out with this checkup. I read the notices one by one.

- Patient may experience trouble breathing throughout the process.
- There is a remotely low chance of death.

These are the only ones I remember. First, I was glad that it mentioned ‘breathing’, meaning that the tube will be going through my mouth. Second, death?! WTF?! I signed it anyways. If it was so dangerous, there wouldn’t be so many people in the waiting room.

They put me in the hospital’s robe. I looked so kick ass with the maroon robe and my black levi’s jeans. Firstly I had to go to this ultrasound-test thingy room. The doctor played around with my tummy with something that looked like a microphone, or if you’d prefer another comparison, a precise dildo. It was so ticklish I couldn’t help laughing. On my way out of the ultra-sound room there was this CUTE nurse. She looked like a chinese but she was a malay. Had short-hair too. Damn she was cute. She smiled at me as I went out, NO KIDDING!

After that was the moment of truth, the moment when they were going to put a tube through my throat. I was scared as hell. I was literally shivering. I was alone in the waiting room, wishing I had more people keeping me sane. My mother was told to wait outside, honestly I felt like a little boy who needed to hold his mom. The waiting was scary; it was cold, quiet, and people looked bluntly sad. I was asked to lie down on the readied bed, by who? The cute nurse. No wonder she was smiling. She was getting me ready for the scare of my life. She tucked me in a pink blanket. Yes. PINK, and held my left arm as the doctor was getting ready to inject me. I don’t know what it was, but it made me hazy and a little high. He sprayed some of that stuff into my throat too.

Now here’s the tricky part, until now, I can’t remember what exactly happened after that injection. All I remember is this. He put the tube into my mouth with haste, I swallowed it but I can’t remember how it felt like. After about 30 seconds, I felt this intense pain in my throat. It was as if a sharp straw was rubbing my tender throat. The pain wouldn’t stop, I couldn’t breathe for a while. The nurse looked at me and kept telling me to ‘calm down’ and ‘don’t panic’. I remember throbbing each part of my body like a fish on dried land. Sadly, that is all I remember. When everything was done, all I can remember is lying down in front of my mom, with her telling me to go to sleep. It’d been a while since I felt so secured and comfortable.

I slept for a while, it felt so long. I was woken up by the cute nurse. When I woke up, I was as empty as my love for cockroach. I didn’t know what was going on. I know this might sound cliche and surreal but when I was woken up all I saw was the cute nurse, and bright white lights. I couldn’t think of anything, I couldn’t even comprehend who the nurse was. It took me like 2 literal minutes to connect the dots. By then, I was high. Everything was moving so slow, people in robes and uniforms were passing me by. My mom was sitting next to me reading the newspaper. I was then sitting on the bed, trying to remember what exactly happened, but failed.

The nurse came back with milo and cream crackers. I ravished them, not even realizing that it was fasting month. Mom left me alone to get the payment done. I needed to pee, I tried standing but it was so hard. Weird thing was, I was feeling a lot better. The same nurse asked me from the nearby counter if I was okay, with a smile . Unfortunately, I can’t remember what I said, I think I ignored her and went to pee. UGH DAMMIT.

So in the end, the doctor told me something I haven’t heard in any clinics before.

“Amirul it looks like you don’t have gastric.”

I was so confused, I thought I was still sleeping. And he continued.

“What you have is most probably ?????”

?????Wth is???!!….hahaha! I didn’t know what it was back then, but after googling, I do now . It’s actually kind of serious, KIND OF, and I’m guessing it is kind of personal too, so I’m just going to explain to those who I want to know when I see them.

Word of advice; treasure your health. They’re priceless.

ADIOS~